wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
