Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
