well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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