Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
