when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize