i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize