I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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