I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
