Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
