After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
