You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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