Nicole vs. Life
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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