it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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