It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
