the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
