you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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