just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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