I molested 6 butterflies tonight
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
