$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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