I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize