May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
