saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
