Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
