Grow some girl-balls and come out already
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
