is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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