I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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