saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
