So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize