I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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