thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
