we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
