rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize