I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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