He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
