I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dicks are not precious.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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