What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You need Xanax blowdarts
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
