when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize