also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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