benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We left the knife in your bed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
