About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize