My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we're chasing vodka with high fives
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize