It's Friday. Sex?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
