Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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