i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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