Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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