Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
