I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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