Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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