I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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