You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize