Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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