it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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