what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize