no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
