Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
