Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
