so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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