This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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