It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They took my balls.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize