my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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