If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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