Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize