dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
