I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
