And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
