im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
